18 Weeks Pregnant – Feeling Low, Overwhelmed and Not Like “Myself”
Guest Pregnancy Journal Entry
Pregnancy is not always a walk in the park. It is different for everyone, and no two experiences are the same.
Most people expect pregnancy to be a time of excitement, anticipation and glowing happiness. But for some women, that is not the reality.
Below is a journal entry from one of our brave mummas who chose to share how she felt during her second trimester.
If you are in New Zealand and feeling low during pregnancy, there is antenatal support available. If these feelings last more than a few days, please speak to your doctor, midwife or a trusted health professional. You do not have to handle it alone.
Week 18
Baby is the size of a: Kūmara
I thought I’d be some kind of earthy pregnant goddess, wearing a flowing white dress and walking barefoot along the beach with a hand draped lovingly over my bump.
Instead, I feel bottom-heavy, exhausted, constantly nauseous and barely able to walk because of sciatica. I am scared to eat anything in case it harms the baby, and when I do eat, the heartburn makes me regret it.
And I am supposed to be happy.
Everyone Else Seems Fine
Everyone else seems so capable. So together. So calm.
I feel young and like I’m doing everything wrong.
I feel like people assume this baby was an accident because I’m only 25. Even my midwife asked questions that made me feel small and judged.
I own my home. I have a partner. I am building a life.
But somehow I still feel unimportant.
I Am So Tired
I am so tired I could cry.
In fact, I do cry. Most days.
And then I feel guilty. Because some people struggle with infertility. Some go through IVF. Some would give anything to be in my position.
But guilt does not cancel exhaustion.
Work Is Hard
I mentioned how tired I was at work, hoping for some solidarity.
Instead, I was told pregnancy is not that hard. That other women worked on their feet through five pregnancies. That I should just toughen up.
Why do women judge each other instead of supporting each other?
Why is there this unspoken rule that if someone else suffered, you should too?
I cannot wait for maternity leave.
I Don’t Even Fit in at Yoga
I started pregnancy yoga. Just getting there felt monumental.
Other women were being referred for hydrotherapy and acupuncture. They were being listened to.
When I told my midwife about shooting back pain down my legs, I was told that if I get through pregnancy with only back pain, I should be grateful.
Why do I feel invisible?
The Part I Didn’t Say Out Loud
As we went around the circle sharing how we felt, I wanted to confess something.
I wanted to say that the love I thought I would instantly feel has not arrived.
In its place is resentment.
My body feels invaded. It no longer feels like mine.
I didn’t say it out loud.
Writing it here feels hard enough.
If You’re Feeling This Way Too
Low mood during pregnancy is more common than we talk about.
You are not weak. You are not ungrateful. You are not a bad mother.
Hormones, exhaustion, pain, identity shifts and external pressure are a powerful mix.
If these feelings linger, please reach out to your GP, midwife, Plunket, or organisations such as PADA NZ (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Aotearoa).
Support exists. You deserve it.
You May Also Like
- Dear Bride with ADHD – It’s Possible
- Staying Motivated When Everything Feels Hard
- Conversations Every Couple Needs to Have
Gentle Affirmations
- I am allowed to struggle and still be grateful.
- My feelings do not define my worth as a mother.
- Pregnancy does not have to look beautiful to be meaningful.
- I deserve support and compassion.
Pregnancy Journal
If you want a private space to process honestly, explore our Pregnancy Journal: