This brave 22-year-old first time mum shares her pregnancy journey at 28 weeks. Living at home with her parents and preparing to raise her baby independently, she opens up about her emotions, her support system and the strength it takes to choose motherhood.
28 Weeks Pregnant – Single First Time Mum
Week: 28
Baby is the size of a: Coconut or winter squash
Cravings: Anything sweet like chocolate or chocolate cereal… and toast.
Symptoms: Since entering my third trimester the main symptom has been heartburn and extreme tiredness, although my iron levels have also been low which probably explains a lot.
My weight: My pre-pregnancy weight was 100kg. In the first half of my pregnancy I lost quite a bit of weight, then gained some, then lost again. Since around 20 weeks I’ve started maintaining it and I’m now 105kg.
I’ve been feeling…
Very up and down emotionally. I’ve had a lot of time to sit with my thoughts. Being in the third trimester makes everything feel very real. I’m about to have a little human being relying on me for the next 20 years. That’s huge.
My partner’s involvement
My partner has been absent since I told him I was pregnant. We weren’t fully together at the time. He left completely when I told him, then briefly came back around 20 weeks but still didn’t want to be involved. I just wish he would decide one way or the other. I don’t want someone coming in and out of my child’s life.
We had been seeing each other for around a year. By the time I found out I was pregnant, he already had a new girlfriend and had blocked me. I had to message one of his friends just to let him know he was going to have a baby.
Choosing to have this baby on my own
Three years ago I had an abortion. The decision never fully felt like my own and I carried grief from that experience. This time, when I found out I was pregnant, I did consider my options — but having this baby outweighed everything else.
I knew I had a stable place to live, support from family, and at the time I was working full time with a steady income. I also knew that telling the father wouldn’t suddenly make him want to play happy families. He already has another child he isn’t very involved with.
Support of family and friends
I live with my parents and have a stable environment to bring my baby into. My friends and family have been supportive. I’m the first in my close friend group to have a baby, but some old friends who are now pregnant or have recently had babies have reached back out, which has been lovely — even if most of them live in different towns now.
Work situation
I was working for my dad’s painting company. Around 14 weeks the nausea and headaches were so bad I couldn’t work more than an hour without being sick. Climbing ladders and inhaling fumes wasn’t ideal. My doctor put me on the benefit as my symptoms were severe.
This is part of why I don’t romanticise pregnancy. For me, it hasn’t felt beautiful. It’s been hard.
This week I’ve learned…
That what people show of pregnancy and parenting is often just the highlight reel. There is so much more to it. Pregnancy hasn’t felt magical to me, and that’s okay.
In preparation for baby
I want to finish buying the last few essentials and start setting up the nursery. I’ll pack my hospital bag soon because as a first time mum I have no idea when baby will decide to arrive. I also need to narrow my list of six baby name