Guest Fertility & IVF Story
A journey of hurt, grief and desperation to become parents. We sat down with an incredibly brave woman to share her story — from discovering cancerous ovarian tumours at 24, to losing both ovaries, undergoing emergency IVF, and navigating the painful uncertainty of what comes next.
“Watching my friends go through having children so easily pains me. Watching other people go through IVF and be unsuccessful pains me also. I wanted so badly to be a mother and now it’s been ripped away from me and I never had a choice in the matter.”
About Us
My husband and I live with our very cute Beagle. We’ve been married for 8 years. I’m 29 and he’s 30. I have a passion for helping people and love dogs. My husband works in IT and enjoys motorbikes and the odd DIY job.
The Beginning: A Routine Appointment That Changed Everything
At 24, before we even began trying for a baby, I went to the doctor to make sure I was in the best possible health. I wanted to be responsible. There was nothing to suggest we would have any difficulty conceiving.
But because I’d previously had my appendix removed — and a burst cyst had been noted at the time — I was sent for a precautionary scan.
That scan revealed a 10x9x9cm complex cyst.
After surgery to remove it, the biopsy showed borderline ovarian tumours — tumours that are not benign and can turn cancerous without warning.
Further scans showed more growth. My cancer markers were elevated. I underwent another surgery and lost most of my remaining ovary tissue.
Emergency IVF & Genetic Testing
Before losing my remaining ovarian tissue, I underwent emergency IVF to preserve fertility.
Round one yielded six embryos — all tested positive for my husband’s genetic heart condition and could not be used under public funding rules.
Round two yielded ten embryos. Eight carried the condition. Two were suitable and frozen.
Over the next few years I underwent three more surgeries. I ultimately lost both ovaries, both fallopian tubes and my omentum. I was 27 years old.
Embryo Transfers & More Loss
In 2020 I underwent embryo transfer.
The wait time after transfer is two weeks. A blood test checks for HCG levels to confirm pregnancy.
Both transfers were unsuccessful.
I cried — the big, ugly kind of cry — and then moved through waves of grief.
My uterine lining was ideal. My hormone levels were good. The embryos were strong. There is no explanation for why they failed to implant.
What Now?
The options left are slim.
- Egg donor IVF (using my husband’s sperm, with genetic testing required per embryo)
- Embryo donation (no biological link to either of us)
Each option comes with significant emotional and financial cost. We no longer qualify for public funding.
We are deciding whether to invest tens of thousands of dollars into a reminder of what may not work.
I am grieving a future I had imagined so clearly.
I still want to be a mother. I know I could give a child a beautiful life.
But I am also exhausted.
What IVF Taught Me
This journey has been five years long.
It has been physically invasive, emotionally devastating, financially draining — and strangely strengthening.
If I could offer advice, it would be this:
- Communicate your needs — even if you don’t know what they are.
- Let people support you.
- You are allowed to feel terrible.
- Step away from social media when it becomes too much.
- Seek counselling if you need it.
This is not easy. It is not supposed to be easy.
You Are Not Alone
People often say things like:
- “Just relax, it will work out.”
- “We can totally see you with a child one day.”
- “My friend stopped IVF and then fell pregnant.”
They mean well. They just don’t understand.
If you are walking this path, you are not weak. You are not failing. And you are not alone.
No, it’s not easy.
And it’s OK to be sad.
Share Your Story
If this has resonated with you and you would consider sharing your own story — whether about infertility, IVF, pregnancy loss, surrogacy or parenthood — we would love to hear from you.