This brave mama shares openly about the loss of her little girl in 2019, as she now awaits the arrival of her third daughter. My heart aches for her, and I hope this family experiences deep healing in welcoming their newest little girl.
Guest Pregnancy Journal: 33 Weeks Pregnant After Loss of a Child
Pregnancy after loss of our second daughter
This is our third pregnancy and our third little girl.
I have a 6 year old, and my second daughter would have been 4 but she passed away at 2 years 8 months. She was diagnosed with brain cancer in August 2019, and I held her in my arms as she took her last breath in December 2019.
It was in her brain stem and there was nothing they could do from the very start, so we made the most of the time we had left. We stopped treatment and brought her home. She was one of the strongest kids you’ll ever meet.
We always knew we had more love to give and were open to having more children. Ideally we would have had number three sooner but I was on the depo, which made it take a while. I’m not even sure if this will be our last. And yes, it’s another girl.
Weight: I started at 66kg and have just hit 80kg. I’m tracking very similarly with all three pregnancies. No particular cravings this time around.
How I’m feeling: That’s a tough one. So many feelings. Excited but so nervous. Being a mum is a massive role, and after losing my girl there is constant worry. That is something I know I will continue to work through.
I am still wondering: Where I will have this baby. My other two were born in hospital with no complications, but I am considering a home birth or going to a birthing centre this time.
My girls are so different and I can’t wait to see what this little one’s personality will be like. I’m especially looking forward to seeing my 6 year old loving on this baby.
My baby’s movements are: Strong. I don’t remember them being like this before. Feeling her move is one of my favourite parts of being pregnant. I feel very lucky to have such healthy pregnancies.
The best thing about the last week: I’m a list writer and have managed to tick so many things off. I’ve also employed someone to cover my maternity leave for 12 months.
What makes me happiest right now: Knowing that my baby is healthy, happy and growing, doing all the right things.
My husband as a father: I don’t even know where to start. He is the most incredible father and husband I could have wished for. What we have been through together has made us grow so much. I am so proud of him.
I would tell baby: Prepare yourself to be absolutely smothered with love. There are so many people looking forward to your arrival.
If after reading this you’d be happy to share your own experience of pregnancy, please email megan@forgetmenotjournals.com to receive one of these pages, or send a photo of your own pregnancy journal.
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More third trimester reflections:
- 33 Weeks Pregnant – Babies Close in Age
- 34 Weeks Pregnant – Second Pregnancy
- 35 Weeks Pregnant – Heartburn, Worries & Preparation
- 38 Weeks Pregnant – First Time Mum
Document your own journey with the Pregnancy Journal – Made With Love, and continue your family’s story with the Baby Book – Your First Years.