Guest Pregnancy Journal – Week 7
Content warning: This article discusses miscarriage and pregnancy loss.
Incredibly brave Mumma Nicola shares her pregnancy journey over the last three years — including a missed miscarriage, a second loss, and the anxiety of early pregnancy after loss.
This is her story at 7 weeks pregnant.
Baby is the Size of a Blueberry
Our First Pregnancy – A Missed Miscarriage
We fell pregnant with our first baby in May 2019. We were so lucky and conceived on our second cycle of trying.
Things were going really well — or so we thought. At 6½ weeks we had our dating scan, saw our baby and its heartbeat and were filled with excitement. I wasn’t sick at all.
At our 10-week appointment, during a bedside scan, we discovered our baby no longer had a heartbeat. A formal scan confirmed our baby had stopped growing at around 8 weeks. It was a missed miscarriage.
Our world came crashing down.
I chose to take Misoprostol at home. I was told it would be like a “bad period.” It was the most horrific experience of my life. The contractions, the guilt, the trauma — it is something I still carry.
The emotional devastation was unlike anything I had known before.
I also wish we spoke more about the dads. My husband lost a baby too. I was barely surviving myself and often feel I didn’t support him enough.
Our Second Pregnancy – Anxiety & A Rainbow Baby
We fell pregnant again in August 2019. That pregnancy was textbook physically — though I had hives from weeks 22–27.
The anxiety in the first trimester was 10/10. I was petrified we would lose this baby too.
We didn’t find out the gender and only learned he was a boy when he was born. He was everything we had hoped for.
A Third Pregnancy & Another Loss
In April 2021, we found out we were pregnant again — on our son’s first birthday.
A week later, I began spotting. I knew in my gut what was happening. Blood tests confirmed a miscarriage.
This one, while devastating, was less traumatic physically.
June 26, 2021 – 7 Weeks Pregnant
On this day two years ago, we lost our first baby.
And here we are in our fourth pregnancy, hoping you will be our second baby earthside.
We found out about you on May 25, 2021. I wasn’t convinced I was pregnant. Your dad suggested I test.
He was right.
I wasn’t excited at first. I felt guilty about that. I’d begun to think of myself as fertile but unable to stay pregnant. Like my body kept failing.
Blood tests showed strong hCG levels. That gave me hope.
We had our dating scan on June 21st. I was incredibly nervous. Dad was calm as ever, though I think he carries his nerves quietly.
And there you were.
Your tiny self, jiggling around with a ticking heartbeat. Measuring exactly 7 weeks. Perfect.
Relief is an understatement.
I’m still wary. I’m not even 8 weeks yet. I’ve felt mildly hungover most mornings and evenings — completely different to my pregnancy with your brother. But I welcome it. As long as I feel like this, maybe it means you’re still here. Growing.
Please stay with me baby.
You are already more loved and wanted than you could ever know.
Love, Mama xx
The Reality of Pregnancy After Loss
Pregnancy after miscarriage is layered with emotion. Relief. Fear. Hope. Guarded excitement.
If you’re navigating early pregnancy after loss, you are not alone.
- Miscarriage at 11 Weeks – Now Pregnant with a Rainbow Baby
- 6 Weeks Pregnant – Miscarriage Anxiety
- 26 Weeks Pregnant After Miscarriage & Chronic Illness
You May Also Like
- 7 Weeks Pregnant – Growing Family
- 12 Weeks Pregnant – Third Baby & Anxiety
- 18 Weeks – Feeling Low in the Second Trimester
Want to Record Your Own Pregnancy Journey?
Our Pregnancy Journal was designed to hold space for every feeling — the hope, the fear, the heartbreak and the joy.
If you would like to share your story anonymously, email megan@forgetmenotjournals.com.